Laundry
by Aesculap
Summary: Is that really Castiel doing laundry or is Dean just slowly going mad? Drabble set early S5
1. Chapter 1

AN: Written for **spn_30snapshots**

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It was already late summer – or early autumn? - with endless yellow fields of crop, bees buzzing lazily in the warm sun and the impala's shiny black skin still too hot to touch. They had just left the highway and were driving through one of those small towns of the Midwest that tend to look so much alike you feel you've seen all after only visiting one. Perhaps it was the sun, reflecting something. Perhaps it was his brain, imagining something. Perhaps it was nothing. But somehow Dean could have sworn blindly he had just seen a tan trench coat hanging on one of the weathered picket fences they had just passed.

The next time it happened was only a few days later. They were again cruising through a nondescript town, pleasantly sated and lazy after a copious lunch as a fleck of tan caught Dean's eye the moment they left the small conglomerate of buildings. He didn't want to reverse so he just asked Sam what he had seen but the younger Winchester had been busy reading the map. Only Dean hat witnessed a dark jacket on one of the fences next to a tan coat. Was he seeing things?

The third time Dean noticed the familiar piece of clothing he could no longer deny it. He had seen something he needed to investigate further. The older Winchester hit the brake – hard – and while Sam was bitching about his forehead nearly connecting with the dashboard – which by the way was anatomically not even possible, Dean was relatively sure – he made a U-turn and drove back to where he had seen the coat and jacket.

Both garments were neatly folded and hung over an old wooden fence that had seen better days. The yard behind was tidy with mown lawn, green bushes, apple trees and a huge clothesline. Somewhere behind bright white sheets lazily flapping in the soft wind the hunter spotted a dark haired figure.

"Dean? What the...?" Sam started to ask but his brother paid him no attention instead he hollered at the man hanging the laundry. It only took a loud "Hey!" for the figure to turn to them and after a moment approach the car. Even Sam was momentarily rendered speechless as Castiel, only in his shirt, sleeves rolled up, still with a bucket of fresh laundry in his arms, stopped in front of the fence.

"Dean. Sam," The Angel greeted them as if helping mortals with their washing was a normal thing for a member of the Heavenly Host to do.

"Dude, are you... How many people's laundry have you hung up in the last few days? Or am I going crazy?"

"It depends on how many days are 'the last few'," Castiel answered gravely.

Dean sighed, "Never mind. Just... why are you doing it in the first place? You know... with an Apocalypse to fight and all..."

"It helps me to gather my thoughts. Doing laundry is a very relaxing and centering task."

"Ok..." The older hunter exchanged a disbelieving look with his brother before he addressed the Angel again: "You know, we have laundry, too. You could have asked us instead of a bunch of people you don't even know..."

With a frown Castiel gestured at the old building in the middle of the yard. "Dorothy is a very nice woman. She is 67 years old, married to Fred for 49 years and two months now. They have two sons, Robert and..."

"Cas..." with a gesture Dean stopped the Angel's explanation of the family's history.

"Very well, I shall do your laundry next when the need to regroup myself arises. But now I have to return to my work. Dorothy is already looking for me. She promised home made cookies after I am finished." Without any further explanation or even a proper good bye the Angel turned and marched back to the laundry line.

Sam needed the better part of five minutes to digest the recent events. The he stated: "Dean, I'm not sure getting Castiel to wash our stuff was a good idea..."

"Hm...?"

"I'm not really comfortable with the idea of Cas touching my underwear – much less my _dirty_ underwear."

"Oh, crap."


	2. Chapter 2

It was on the next day that Castiel was true to his word. Dean had decided to take a quick shower, after a short but violent run in with an annoying and weird Texan ghost had left him dripping with mud. The water pressure was awesome and the temperature hot enough to make his skin turn a pinkish kind of red. Letting the strong steam massage his tired muscles, he enjoyed every minute of his shower to his fullest - until he had finished toweling himself mostly dry and noticed that he had forgotten to bring some unsoiled clothes along. Well, Sam would have to live with him dressing in the room then.

Dean knew that they were short on clean clothes; in fact he had planned to drive to a Laundromat after his shower. It wouldn't be the first time for him to reuse some of his less dirty stuff because now with the Apocalypse and kind of Heaven and Hell on their heels such trivial things as laundry tended to be forgotten frequently.

Dean's duffel was empty. Not really empty, but there was a distinguishable lack of clothes. Somebody had taken all his dirty stuff out.

"Sam, where've you stuffed our laundry into? 'm afraid, I need to reuse a set. The bag already in the car?"

Sam looked up from his laptop frowning at his brother. "No, it's your turn. I didn't do anything."

"Then where're my clothes?" Dean shot his brother a confused look, clutching the small towel to his hips with one hand.  
"I have no idea...," Sam mumbled and started rummaging through his own duffel bag. "My things 're missing, too."  
Suddenly Dean groaned. Could it really be...? "Sam, do you think Cas has...?"  
The other Winchester nodded slowly. "You practically told him to do our next laundry... And the way you've been bitching about having to wash our stuff this evening the entire day he really couldn't miss it."  
"Crap..."

A familiar flutter of wings made both hunters turn around, awaiting to see their friend with a bag full of freshly cleaned clothes. "Hello boys." Instead they looked into the smug face of Zachariah.

The sleazy Angel made a show of looking around the room before Dean finally snapped, "All right, I bite. What are you searching for?"

"Little brother of mine. You might know him, insubordinate, very self-opinionated, deluded, stubborn, mulish, weak. Oh, and he happened to pull you out of Hell. I had hoped to finally get my hands on all three members of the infamous Team Free Will."

Sam and Dean exchanged looks. They needed to get the hell out of dodge without Zachariah following them. And they had to warn Castiel.

"You don't happen to know his current whereabouts?"

Both brothers kept their mouths shut tightly, not willing to give away their friend.

"Oh, come on, boys. I could simply snag that piece of information from your sorry excuse of a brain."

"He's...," Sam stared, glancing at his brother for reassurance.

"He's doing our laundry," Dean said, looking Zachariah in the eye.

The smug Angel frowned at both brothers somewhat flabbergasted and blinked a few times before he opened his mouth - and closed it again.

Sadly it took only a few seconds for Zachariah to shrug off his bafflement. "You two yahoos made an Angel of the Lord wash your dirty underwear?"

Sam and Dean nodded hesitantly.

"Castiel is doing your laundry?"

Again both Winchesters nodded. They were ready for Zachariah to attack them any second now, the brothers even expected him to smite them where they were standing. But they certainly were not ready for him to erupt into guffaws.

Sam and Dean exchanged looks, trying to decide what to do. The balding Angel was still laughing, tears started streaking down his face, his body doubled over, shaking with laughter.

Hastily, cautiously and as sneaky as possible they took their duffels and made a quick retreat towards the car.

They could still hear Zachariah guffawing over the rumble of the engine as they pulled out of the motel's parking lot and Sam dialed Castiel's number.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** Solely **cherryshadowz's** fault (_"Now I have this image of Castiel studiously separating the boy's clothes and deliberating on the type of soap to buy for the clothes."_) - look what you've done... Many thanks to **citizencandy** for the prompt beta - you rock!

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It was not the first time Castiel was doing laundry, but it was the first time Castiel had to visit a Laundromat. As he believed in thorough research, Castiel decided to borrow Sam's laptop and check to what extent washing clothes at a self-service laundry differed from doing laundry at somebody's home. After about five minutes, he had found the answer to most of his questions: A website titled "11 Tips for Washing Clothes at the Laundromat".

~*~

1. _Have coins or money set aside_

Castiel owned no money except for the few coins Jimmy had left in his wallet ('purse' is feminine). But since he would be doing laundry for Sam and Dean, he figured it would be okay to take some of theirs. Castiel knew Dean kept a stack of quarters in the Impala securely tucked away behind his tissues in case they spent the night at a motel with magic fingers.

First item - check.

2. _Check detergent, bleach and softener levels_

Up until now, the people Castiel was helping with their laundry had mostly operated their washing machines themselves. He had no idea what kind of detergent, bleach or softener he should use as neither Sam nor Dean owned any of the aforementioned items. With a ten dollar note from Sam's wallet, the Angel went shopping.

Tide Total Care For High Efficiency

Era 2X Ultra Active Stainfighter

Tide April Fresher Detergent

Great Value Mandarin Essence

Surf Spring Burst

Surf Sparkling Ocean

All Small & Mighty Wild & Fresh

Cheer Brightclean Free and Gentle

Castiel stopped at that point, having not even looked through half of the items on the first shelf of the laundry aisle. He figured a human could try another product every time his old one ran short and still never have to buy something twice.

He decided to take the flask labeled 'Cheer'. Both Sam and Dean could use something to brighten up their mood from time to time. And 'Free and Gentle' sounded very desirable - even for clothes.

Second item - check.

3. _Sort clothing at home_

Sorting the Winchesters' clothes by colors - as suggested in the How-To - didn't seem to make much sense. Both hunters not only preferred to wear low-keyed clothes, but all of their garments had been washed often enough for them to no longer stain. Instead, Castiel decided to make a pile of Sam-clothes and Dean-clothes.

~*~

The opportunity to follow the remaining eight items on the list came very soon. Castiel just wanted to return the change from his trip to Wall-mart, as he found Dean undressing himself in the bathroom while complaining loudly - _bitching_, as Sam would say - about having to do laundry after his well-earned shower. Castiel decided to make his friend happy and take on Dean's burden. With a motion so swift and fast that Sam didn't even notice, the Angel gathered his friends' clothes and headed towards the next Laundromat, a print-out of the website in one of his pockets.

~*~

_Secure the washing machines_

It was already nearing midnight, still two other people where currently inside the brightly lit shop. With five of the eight machines already occupied, Castiel decided to spread the Winchesters' clothes across the remaining three washing machines.

_Follow the washing machine instructions_

According to the _Tips _there had to be some kind of instruction on how to work those huge white machines behind one of the lids. Castiel opened the first one and found some kind of drawer that had an very intense smell of washing agent. Behind the second one, he finally found the instructions and proceeded to read through them very carefully. With a frown on his face, the Angel decided that operating a washing machine was way more complicated than even summoning a lesser unicorn.

_Be mindful of temperature settings_

Unfortunately, the labels with the washing instructions on all items of clothing the Winchesters owned were too washed out for even his angelic senses to decipher the writing. Castiel shortly pondered asking one of the other patrons, but the elderly male's clothes looked as if he wasn't the best to ask about washing instructions himself and the young woman was engrossed in her telephone. As the core temperature of the human body could, in case of a high fever, reach levels above 40°C, he decided to adjust the machine to that setting. If a garment wouldn't survive being worn by a feverish human it surely wasn't suited for a Winchester. The clothes just would have to 'suck it up'.

_Never leave clothing unattended_

Although Castiel doubted anybody in his right mind would try to steal the Winchesters' torn, bloodied and well worn garments, he was not going to take any risks. He folded his arms behind his back and started his silent vigil. The sight of the clothes spinning inside the machines was very… mesmerizing…

After a few minutes - and very strange glances from the elderly man - Castiel remembered that there were approximately four items left on his list. He retrieved the folded paper and read through the last paragraphs.

_Walk with an activity to occupy downtime_

The website stated a few recommendation on how to pass the time.

A novel? He did not own anything of the like. He should remember to purchase a few of the Supernatural books.

A textbook? Castiel doubted Bobby would be happy lending him one of his old tomes so he could read it while doing laundry…

Newspaper? Okay, he probably should have brought the one still lying next to Sam on the table.

Bible? What kind of website was that to suggest its readers to study the Holy Writ? Castiel decided to add the URL to his bookmarks - if he should ever own his own computer.

Re-connect with family… - not a very bright idea on his behalf…

… and friends? Sam was doing research, Dean was taking a shower and Bobby…? Right, Bobby.

Castiel pulled his cell phone out of his coat and dialed the old hunter's number.

"Castiel? You in trouble?" Bobby's gruff voice asked with a hint of worry only moments later.

"No."

"Are Sam 'n' Dean all right?"

"Yes."

"Then why the hell are you calling in the middle of the night, idjit?!"

"I am doing laundry…"

"You're doing laundry…?"

"Yes. And the website stated I should call a friend."

"Some crazy internet page told ya to call me?"

"Yes."

"Okay… Are you drunk, boy?!"

"No, I am sober."

"Cursed?"

"No…"

"Crazy?!"

"No…"

"Okay, featherbrain, some of us mud monkeys need their beauty sleep once in a while. So, I'm giving you a piece of free advice: Do. Not. Call. Past. Midnight! Unless somebody is _at least_ missing a few body parts!"

With an angry click the line went dead.

Castiel decided to watch the clothes spin instead.

_Sort clothing for the dryer too_

Again, Castiel was not able to decipher the instructions on the washed out labels so he read through the website's instructions carefully a second time. It said he should gather all lighter clothing and stuff it into a dryer separate from the heavier items such as jeans. Unfortunately only one drying machine was still unoccupied at that time and its lid was opaque so he couldn't even watch the enthralling dance of garments any longer.

_Walk with hangers_

This Laundromat neither had carts nor hangers to hang from its hanging bar so Castiel decided to proceed to the next item on his list.

_Fold as much as possible_

This was what he was best at. This was what he had done countless times before. It didn't take the Angel long; with swift, measured and graceful movements he folded each and every item neatly to the same size. It took Castiel less than two minutes to finish all four machine loads worth of clothes. As he put the last item on Sam's stack he noticed he had an audience. Both the elderly man and the young woman were watching him, gaping openmouthed.

"How… how the heck did you do that?!" the woman finally found her tongue first.

"I have had a lot of practice," Castiel answered truthfully.

"Wow… you probably could make money with that kind of… Speed Stacking."

Castiel did not understand why she and the elderly man were suddenly grinning but his phone started ringing before he could come up with a reply anyways.

Only moments later, two flabbergasted humans were the only customers of the tiny Laundromat in Sprucedale, Colorado.

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**AN:** This website really does exist, just google for 11-tips-for-washing-clothes-at-the-laundromat


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